Kick It Like You Mean It!

Old habits die hard. Take me as an example. I get overenthusiastic when it comes to food and as you can see, the animal instinct in me just takes over. "I got to have it! FAST! I don’t care who is watching me! Where is that grape?"

Seriously though, we all struggle with our excess baggage. And our bad habits come in a myriad of forms. Smoking, binge drinking, abuse of substance; the list just goes on and on. But you may say, "Look mom, I don't do all that!" Well, sorry to rain on your parade, but there are other habits that can be detrimental to our personal and spiritual well-being.

While we may be physically pure, the real battle is going on in the mind. And the adversaries we face in that battlefield come in the form of doubt, lust, covetousness, envy, et cetera. I don't know about you but I struggled with impatience, anger, pride and an unforgiving heart. Above all, I had the compulsive disorder to bring things under control (Frederick Winslow Taylor syndrome) and the insatiable hunger to be accepted for who I am.

Such habits can be attributed to the internalization of our experiences and our past has an exceptionally high propensity to affect us. In my case, it was the loneliness and rejection I felt as a child growing up alone. Upping the ante, I'll attribute my struggle with bitterness and anger to the torrid time I endured when I was afflicted with depression. As for pride, a good start in life can really inflate you and my struggle for acceptance slowly evolved into a "me versus them" mentality. Wow... what a mouthful.

And as Lenin would ask, "What is to be done?"

Miracle One: Kick It!!!

Making peace with yourself and your past is a tall order. Take it from me. I tried and I failed countless times for seven years. On certain occasions, I actually made good progress. But human effort can only take you so far, and then comes God. And as my efforts hit one brick wall after another, I just raised my hands in exasperation and asked Jesus to do it for me. And He did it through a process called Conversion.

Conversion implies spiritual change. It can be likened to a turning of one's character from the desires of this world or sin, to Christ. The rejection of sin is termed as Repentance and the desire to follow the heart of God, Faith.

While Conversion was a term I was familiar with in my earlier days, it was actually alien to me as far as experience was concerned. And this is because knowledge alone is insufficient. One may be able to quote scripture and to impress from a theological point of view but this alone is no indication of his or her faith. James 2:19 says, "You believe that there is one God. Good! But even the demons believe that and shudder." In John chapter 3, Nicodemus acknowledged that Jesus came from God but the question of his trust in Jesus is shrouded in ambiguity. As for me, I delved into too much left brain stuff, and that made me prideful in head knowledge, while the beauty of the gospel just passed me by.

The Bible says that God knows us even before we are conceived and I really believe that this is true. He knew more than anyone that I am competitive by nature and the only way I would submit to His will was for me to be truly beaten. Oh well, I guess some people just have to find out... THE HARD WAY! Here's a tip. Never fight with God. Seriously, don't.

I wanted to change. I wanted to be happy in accordance to His will. I wanted to serve Him. But I wanted to cling on to my junk as well. It was only when I was down and out when He could remove my heavy burdens and give me a much lighter load. Picture it this way. We carry our bags and Jesus wants to embrace us. And we can only embrace Him back if we let our bags go. As the narrative in Matthew 11:28-30 goes, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

And as I submitted to His will, I finally experienced the liberation I was seeking all along. Out went the heart of stone and in came a heart of flesh. I was always an emotionally sensitive individual but to my amazement, those senses were further heightened when I surrendered my all to Him. Initially, I was afraid. I was afraid because for once, everything was out of my hands. I was afraid because of the magnitude of change. I was afraid because I did things that I never dreamed possible. But as He showed me His laws and statutes that I read all along but never practiced, I warmed to the change and now, all fear is gone.

I say now beyond the shadow of doubt that personal trust in Jesus is the best thing anyone can have. Some of you still struggle with heavy loads. They range from hurt to disappointment to crazy dreams that only suit you. Give it all up to Him. For anyone who is living in the past, my heart cries out to you. No matter how beautiful the past may be, be contented in the present and be confident for tomorrow as He holds the future. Just kick away the excess baggage and set your eyes on the cross.

I received an e-card that said "You think it is not worth it... God says it is worth it. You say I can never forgive myself... God says He forgives you. You say that nobody loves you... God loves you." I hope you derive the same encouragement I received from these words. Illustrating further, God is knocking on the door of your heart today as He did to the church in Laodicea (Revelation 3:20). Can you imagine God knocking? Shouldn't it be the other way around? Finally, recall the parable of the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32 shows God running to you and me in verse 20. Kick off your chains. Seek Him while He is near. Stretch out your hands.

WHEN GOD RAN

And that was when God ran to me

He held me close to His chest

Looked into my eyes and said

"Son, do you know I still love you?"