On a cold, dark and stormy night, the sinister faction known only as Joyannjannah infiltrated the premises of Peacehaven. There, a group of holidaymakers, the Koinonians, lay deep in sleep. Stealthily making their way to the pantry, the four mischief makers laid out their plans to wreck havoc. Cackling with eerie laughter, they conjured their spells and cast them in unison. Nothing was spared as their spell held sway over the people, the premises, the cute little birds and even the food. Their supernatural presence was felt immediately as a group of women went into frenzy throughout the night, dancing and singing in a strange unfathomable language depriving the Koinonian girls of sleep.
Strange things were happening as well in the guy’s dorm as an abominable creature only known as Kelvin’s Bird (Coined by Aaron) traumatized the men with shrieks of anguish. This kickstarted a chain reaction as gastronomical emissions were heard throughout the dorm, resulting in a foul odour. Grown men feared the night and with the abomination lurking outside, many could not bring themselves to close their eyes. “I don’t like to sleep alone. Stay with me please. Don’t go.” So terrifying was the ordeal that the strongest man within the group had to radio and wait for backup to answer nature’s call. “Look mom, I’m gonna pee pee my pants.”
As morning rose, the cackling from the pantry ceased and the shadowy faction disappeared as quickly as they came. But the die was cast. Weakened and weary from the night’s ordeal, the Koinonians eagerly sought replenishment and warmed to the bread and butter that lay prepared for them. However, the bread and butter had been tampered with and the night’s happenings were just a ploy to weaken the mental faculties of the Koinonians. The bread and butter served a more sinister purpose and as the Koinonians ate, they became subservient to the magic spell cast upon them.
The following pictures are scenes of mass hysteria at Peacehaven. Some of you may find them disturbing and if there are children around, please ensure that they’re tucked into bed. While nothing suspicious has transpired in the studio, there have been reports of young children fainting or going into a trancelike state upon viewing these pictures. Parents, please, do the right thing. Nothing is what it seems.
That scene from Love Potion no. 9
That scene from Pinnochio"I'm a real boy!!!"
That scene from Jack and the Beanstalk"Look mom, I'm tall."
That scene from Wag the Dog"More! More! More!"
That other scene from Wag the Dog"Is this the pirated DVD sniffing labrador?"
That scene from American Idol"Before William Hung was, I am!"
That scene from Hulk"Me smash, you die!"
That scene from Borat
"Everybody's talking about me. I don't care what they say..."
That scene from Independence day
"Take me with you!!!"
A manhunt is out in order to bring the perpetrators to justice. Joyannjannah is wanted dead or alive. Do contact the local authorities if you see them making a strange appearance. Preemptive measures have already been taken with detachable crosses placed outside every holiday rest house and hotel. They are quite distinct and they come with the sign saying “If you’re going much further, please take one.”
This is Richard Lim, signing off.
