Dreaming To Some Purpose

Ronald H. Coase was just another varsity student in London looking out of the window when he had a light bulb moment. “Why do firms need to grow big?” Ultimately, his answer to that question would lead to him being awarded The Sveriges Riksbank Prize in Economic Sciences in Memory of Alfred Nobel in 1991.

In pale comparison to the great man, I too, was day-dreaming at office today. So what’s new? :) Well, for starters, instead of contemplating about The Myth of Sisyphus or anything pessimistic along those lines, I thought instead, about something positive. And as the day-dream rolled, I recalled a certain discourse in one of my forays into literature.

The philosopher Schopenhauer was arguably the only major European philosopher who focused on boredom and cumulative stress. For the sake of referencing, I shall do injustice to the great man by setting and summarizing the argument out in a formal kind of way.

1) To live is to want.
2) To want is to will.
3) To will is to set an objective and to pursue that goal.
4) Someone’s goal may end in success or failure.
5) If that someone fails, he or she is inadequate and suffers a lack. (Suffering)
6) If he or she succeeds, he or she gets bored after a while. (Suffering)
7) Life is suffering.

While I was an early reader of philosophy, I was taken aback when I first came across this train of thought. From first glance, it seemed to be an acceptable portrayal of life. After all, myself, and quite a number of acquaintances did, after all, go through stages (1) to (5) and (6). But is number (7) pushing it? Or is it an accurate description of reality? After all, Solomon with all his wisdom and accomplishments said with age old cynicism in Ecclesiastes 2:11 that “… everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.”

However interesting and compelling this argument is, it is possible to raise a myriad of objections against it. While (1) and (2) are valid, one might point out that against (3), as human beings, we are likely to pursue many goals simultaneously rather than betting on a sole race horse. Of course, one may argue that all other goals may pale in comparison to a certain goal that takes dominance over all others but for the strong statement in (7) to hold, the entire life of an individual must be put to the litmus test and not just the life and death moments which in truth, are a rarity.

Against (4), we might interject that satisfaction is not a zero sum game (all-or-nothing business). When one’s goal is unfulfilled or crashes and burns, it may very well ward off boredom. In fact, one may be spurred forward with renewed rigour to reach higher. Moving on, the goals that are satisfied could lead to a state of mind where one is not bored but in fact, pleasant.

Against (5), many an unsatisfied desire have bitter-sweet qualities that can be likened to two sides of the same coin. For example, I remember the time when my friend Terry kept his wife and myself hungry when he suggested that we wait 2 hours on the TGIF waiting list. While our hunger pangs (especially mine) was a big minus factor in our pre-dinner condition, the anticipation of the aroma of a big fat Jack Daniel’s steak outweighed those pangs (I’m not sure about his wife though. ^.^). Illustrating further, one may certainly pine for an absent beloved, but the thought and pleasure of a future meeting together, gazing into each other’s eyes, a romantic getaway, under the sun, under the moon, surely outweighs the suffering derived from the waiting and the crying game. I, myself, look forward to that moment and I can testify that the anticipation of this yet unfulfilled dream is in fact, fulfilling. And while I would be most willing to bomb Pearl Harbour for her, that day can wait. Oh dear, this is one long paragraph.

Schopenhauer makes an assumption in (6). His argument assumes that the satisfaction of a goal or desire constitutes immediate elimination. And with it, it takes along the original goal that it is derived from. I conclude this because boredom and goal-lessness would otherwise not be the automatic consequence of the satisfaction of desire. And assumptions are like @$$h***s; everyone has one. While this is true of certain desires especially of the physiological kind (i.e. Forrest Gump telling President Kennedy that he needed to pee. After answering nature’s call, the desire to pee disappears), it may not be so for others. There are a range of goals and desires that may be satisfied without elimination. A man may achieve his goal in winning the heart of the lady of his affection and that desire does not end. It goes on. It evolves. It grows. It lingers. The dynamo of love will hum and he will have to meet the evolving needs of the relationship in different roles in response to the changing seasons of the relationship. And amidst all the change and wrinkles that appear over time, the fact of the matter is that he loves his wife and he wants her to be the first thing he sees when he wakes up and the last thing when he closes his eyes. Okay, here I go again.

At this point, it seems that Schopenhauer’s cause for pessimism is unfounded. But why does the modern economic man and woman face depression in their everyday lives? Why do thousands of people die “on the job” in Japan each year regardless of their high position and social status? My guess is that they live their lives in an absurd fashion. Borrowing some inspiration from Camus, they kill the man of today in the name of the man of tomorrow. When one sacrifices one’s present self on the altar of some future goal, one will surely be disappointed when the desired result is not to his or her original expectations.

With that, it can be concluded that while Schopenhauer’s argument for pessimism may carry weight, it cannot be accepted as a general law. All the more importantly, a theological perspective will call for one to align one’s goals with the goals of his Creator. Quoting from John Piper, “the chief aim of man is to glorify God and to delight in Him.” For if goals with some sort of continuity in mind bring greater and lasting fulfillment, what more can we say about goals with eternity in mind? From a Hebrew and theological perspective, we are created in the image of God. Sin, then, is what prevents us from being and living as that image. Hence, individual goals must be conceived as how the Creator would have conceived them. And finally, while the opening of Ecclesiastes may lament the futility of man and his attempts to find meaning, it ends with the call for everyone to heed and to remember their maker. Do you remember?

A Tale Of Two Italians

Enter one Gianluigi Lentini. Lentini was a former Italian international who received 13 caps for his country. Affectionately known as Gigi, Lentini made his name at a reasonably top club, Torino. Using his coltish pace, Gigi would found meandering through the right wing, unhinging defences from a variety of angles. Blessed with penetrative panache, Gigi could make a monkey out of any defender in his prime. With all the hype about him, it was only a matter of time before Gigi caught the eye of Italy’s elite teams. Juventus (The Old Lady of Turin) and AC Milan (Rossoneri) both sought his services.

Ultimately, the money purse of Silvio Berlusconi prevailed and Gigi donned the famous red and black strip of Milan. The world record transfer fee was to be a staggering 13 million pounds. While considered normal today, that figure was exceptionally high for a footballer in 1992 and the Vatican called it “an offence against the dignity of work.” Making his Milan debut at the age of 23, Gigi played 30 times in the title-winning season of 1992-1993. However, he only managed 33 games for the four seasons after. Needless to say, his involvement with the national team also met an abrupt end.

What happened? A car crash in 1993 landed Gigi in a coma with severe head injuries and he never returned to his prime – although Milan were already disappointed in having signed what some would call a show pony. His career never recovered and The Observer ranks him as the seventh biggest transfer flop of all time. Gigi started well and had the world at his feet but being the victim of circumstance and escalating expectations proved too much for the young man to handle. A victim of his own success perhaps, Gigi tasted too much, too soon.


Marco Tardelli on the other hand, had an unenviable beginning. For starters, he didn’t even have a fixed position. After experimenting for a few years, Tardelli was used as a utility defender or midfielder in a central position. Only a brave man would predict stardom for Tardelli. For unlike Lentini, Tardelli didn’t begin his career with a Serie A club but for Pisa, a team stuck in Serie C for whom he played for two seasons from 1972 to 1974. His life chances were already handicapped from the start.

But God lifts the lowly and Tardelli was soon promoted to Serie B where he played with Como. Slowly but steadily growing in stature and spurred on by his competitive streak, Tardelli’s club career culminated when he signed for Italy’s most decorated club, Juventus in October, 1975. Tenacious and intelligent, Tardelli soon won the cynics over with a series of determined and consistent performances. With both club and country, Tardelli succeeded the more physical Romeo Benetti in the central midfield birth. However, his past returned to haunt him when he was played out of position (at right back) during his Azzuri (Italian national team) debut. Nevertheless, Tardelli dug deep and made the central midfield spot his own in time.

Tardelli will be best remembered for the undisputed best goal celebration at the World Cup. Scoring in the final against West Germany in 1982, the normally calm and reserved Tardelli went berserk. With tears in his eyes, he sprinted to the Italian bench, fist clenched in front of his chest, and then pounding his chest, tears pouring freely down his face like rain, screaming as he shook his head wildly. It took a good four teammates to bring him back down to earth and drag him back to the centre circle.

Tardelli is one of the very few players to have won every major prize in the modern domestic and European game. He was declared by FIFA to be “The most complete Italian Midfielder in history.” Above all, Tardelli is the living embodiment that a bad start or predicament does not determine that life, as a whole, sucks.

Which footballer best depicts your life? If you're a Tardelli, praise God. If your story sounds very much like Lentini minus the football, do not despair. I too, tasted too much too soon. But God wants to give you a new name and all we have to do is to let Him work His stuff. And like Mr. Tardelli above, I want to run to Him again. If He can do it for him, He can do it for me, for you. Cheesy, but it's true, it's true!

P.S. Tardelli is also famous for a notorious love affair with pornstar Moana Pozzi but that's another story for another time. And hey, even Solomon had his women. *wink*

P.S.S Thou shall not stone the messenger! :P (Pun intended)

Number 48

The boy from number 48 looks out as picks up his ball. Cars are slowing down. Is it the time of the day when walking is faster? It must be. His mother beckons him into the house. Reluctantly, he follows. His steps heavy, the young boy resents the intrusion of traffic into his private sphere. “I wish that there were no cars in Bangsar. Well, just on Tempinis Street.”

Many cars form a line in perfect echelon. Bumper to bumper they sit. All eyes are locked onto the lights. Only one pair moves. He sees the boy from number 48. He feels for him and his heart goes out to him, but only for a moment. For he once knew someone from number 48. Like the boy, the man from number 48 stayed on the same street, but in a different town. There’s a bit of the man from number 48 about the boy. For a start, he is good looking and he doesn’t believe in the star system. All the boy wants is to continue playing.

The man from number 48 loves to play too. But it’s been so long, he’s forgotten how. For the man from number 48 is scarred beyond recognition. A stranger even to himself, he constantly searches for something to believe in. He searches for meaning. He has faith in God but unlike other Christians, he wants more. He hears stories of people being touched by God. Like those people, he too, was touched. And he loved it. He still loves it. And he will always love it. But for now, he doesn’t feel it. And the silence is killing him.

He remembers the first time he moved to the city; a young man bearing the burden of expectation. A glittering past coupled with a sense of loss only adds to his weight. A sense of loss only those who have been betrayed can know. For the man from number 48 grew up in church and learnt everything from church. He experienced the loftiest of heights and the deepest of sorrows. He’s lucky he doesn’t have vertigo.

There was a time when the man from number 48 lived only for vengeance. Like Samson, he prayed so that he could regain his strength for just one moment so he could die with his enemies. And the heavens heard him. But when he looked into the eyes of his oppressor, he only saw himself. And the man from number 48 let him go. For war doesn’t determine who is right; only who is left.

To everything there is a season; a time for every purpose under heaven. The man from number 48 knows this. He had a time to love. And it was then when he became a man. He remembers the moments in time. He smiles at them and writes them on the pages on his heart. He remembers a time when he made his way through the rain with food for the lady of his affection. Waking her up, she cries out, “God, you’re cold!” Smiling devilishly, he replies “Its ok, luv. In bed, you can call me *******.” But something else was written for the man from number 48. The ghosts of the past had to return for some overdue consolation. And he learned that sometimes, love means knowing when to let go.

He sees the good and bad in things. He sees that what is often called an excellent reason for living is also an excellent reason for dying. He refuses to be indifferent to the world around him for indifference is not only a sin, but a punishment. He waits for the girl with crimson nails with Jesus around her neck. He waits for an answer in response to his faith. As in his youth, he can’t stand the silence of his Creator and he waits. And above all else, he wants to play again.

The boy from number 48 closes the gate behind him. Through the grills, he looks out and for a brief moment, their eyes meet. One wishes that he could grow up faster to be free while the other wishes he could turn back the time and return to innocence. They’re different but yet so alike. And that moment passes as the boy is gone. The eyes return to mimic the soulless crowd. All waiting for the amber; all waiting for the green.

Ho Hum...

The picture says it all. 'nuff said.